JULY 3, 1998

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 9

SPEAK OUT

Leach family values: Mom

and Dad's first Pride march

by Dawn Leach

I hope you'll forgive me if I brag. After all, Pride is supposed to be a time to be proud, and I have a happy Pride story to tell.

On Saturday, June 27, my parents got up in the middle of the night to drive from Louisville, Kentucky to Cleveland, Ohio to march with me in their very first Pride.

To make the 350-mile trek in time to get to the festivities, they set off at 3 am and drove through the night. Now that's loving devotion.

Many people I know were incredulous and awed by the accomplishment of bringing my mom and dad to Pride, and understandably so.

My parents met at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville. When my mom graduated from the seminary-the first woman to get a doctorate of education there she was pregnant with me. I started attending Crescent Hill Baptist Church within a week of my birth.

My dad was the son of Southern Baptist missionaries, and became pastor of a church in Albuquerque, New Mexico when he was 19 years old.

Given the reputation that the Southern Baptists have gotten in the past couple of decades, I can understand the amazement of my friends, though my parents have never rejected me.

When I came out to my parents six years ago, I'm sure it wasn't exactly what they were hoping to hear. Like any parents, they struggled with it, and especially their fear of what might happen to me in a homophobic world. I'd say they probably had about as much difficulty processing the news as I did. It took us all a few years to fully adjust.

But we certainly have adjusted. When my parents arrived in town on Saturday, along with the latest activities of neighbors and friends, they brought news of the openly lesbian member of their Sunday school class who was just elected to the Louisville board of aldermen, and what a wonderful partner she has.

They also brought me up to date on the Fairness Campaign, an ongoing effort in Louisville to ban anti-gay discrimination. The last time the fairness bill came up for a vote, Mom and Dad proudly planted a sign in their lawn

proclaiming FAIRNESS DOES A CITY GOOD and patiently explained it to curious passersby.

Mom and Dad met me before the Pride march at the home of my closest friend and my chosen family, and I was delighted at how well they got along. We rode together to the rally. Mom and Dad and I wore matching T-shirts to identify the Leach clan.

I wanted everyone to know. For weeks, I had been gleefully telling everyone I spoke to that my parents were going to march with me.

I told my friends. I told my co-workers. I told business associates. I nearly told a couple of telemarketers-but all the anticipation couldn't have prepared me for the actual experience.

The first time I finally tapped someone on the arm and said "I want you to meet my mom and dad," I choked up. I was so proud and happy.

It's hard to describe what it felt like for me to walk through the streets of downtown Cleveland holding hands with my mom and dad, surrounded by my queer family. It was bliss to share my world with my parents, and introduce so many people I care about to the people I was lucky enough to get for parents. I was truly caught up in the spirit of Pride.

Boy, was I proud.

More than a few people had a glint of jealousy in their eyes as they congratulated me at Pride. I know how lucky I am. I have a terrific, loving pair of parents who are proud of me, who understand and appreciate who I am.

That's a sadly rare story. Everyone deserves to have support, but there are plenty of lesbian, gay, bi, and trans folks whose biological families may never accept who they are, let alone march with them at Pride. There are many painful stories of families torn apart by misunderstanding and intolerance. I wish it weren't so.

But today, I am feeling very optimistic. A family held together by love in a homophobic world is a symbol of hope for all of us. Our community has love on our side, and love is a powerful force for change. Hatred just can't destroy our family values.

Dawn Leach is the Chronicle's senior

staff writer.

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